Bullies are very cunning and are expert at getting away with it.
We all know that bullying goes on in every school but it's the way it's dealt with which makes the difference between life being tolerable or a misery.
How to solve the problem
If you are being bullied, tell a friend, tell a teacher and tell your parents. It won't stop unless you do. It can be hard to do this so if you don't feel you can do it in person it might be easier to write a note to your parents explaining how you feel, or perhaps confide in someone outside the immediate family, like a grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin and ask them to help you tell your parents what's going on.
Your form tutor needs to know what is going on so try to find a time to tell him/her when it won't be noticeable. You could stay behind on the pretext of needing help with some work. If you don't feel you can do that, then go to the medical room and speak to the school nurse.
The best idea is if a teacher can catch the bullies red-handed. That way, you won't get into bother from anyone for telling tales. It will be clear to everyone what has been going on. Don't be tempted to hit back because you could get hurt or get into trouble.
- People calling you names
- Making things up to get you into trouble
- Hitting, pinching, biting, pushing and shoving
- Taking things away from you
- Damaging your belongings
- Stealing your money
- Taking your friends away from you
- Posting insulting messages on the internet or by IM (cyberbullying)
- Spreading rumours
- Threats and intimidation
- Making silent or abusive phone calls
- Sending you offensive phone texts
- Bullies can also frighten you so that you don't want to go to school, so that you pretend to be ill to avoid them
Hitting someone is an assault.
Try to stay in safe areas of the school at break and lunchtime where there are plenty of other people. Bullies don't like witnesses. If you are hurt at school, tell a teacher immediately and ask for it to be written down. Make sure you tell your parents.
Bullying is upsetting
Bullying is very upsetting and if you feel you can't cope, tell your parents and go to see your doctor. Many doctors are very sympathetic about the effects of bullying and yours may be able to write a note for the school explaining the effect that bullying is having on your health.
You could think about judo or martial arts classes so that you are confident you can look after yourself if necessary.
If people are making nasty remarks about you then it may be because they are jealous. Perhaps you're better looking than they are or work harder or perhaps the teachers like you better. One way of dealing with remarks is simply to say ...yeah, whatever, .... each time so that you show them that it isn't having the effect of upsetting you in the way they think.
The bullies will have worked out what buttons to push to make you upset.
They may make remarks about:
- Your weight
- Your looks
- The colour of your hair
- Your family
- Your schoolwork
- If you are popular
- If you work hard
- If you have a disability
- If you are a different religion, colour or culture
- If you wear spectacles or a hearing aid
- If you have dyslexia or dyspraxia
- If you've been off school due to illness
Bullying UK gets emails from pupils who have stopped eating because they've been called fat, or stupid because they have dyslexia. One girl tried to burn her freckles off because of cruel remarks.
The thing all these pupils had in common is that they were perfectly ordinary, nice people who had the misfortune to come up against a very nasty person.