If the people bullying you are at school with you then your parents need to talk to your class teacher or head of year about what's happening in case trouble spills over at school.

Although schools can take action over bullying on the journey to and from school they will be less keen to do anything about bullying that happens at the weekend or in the holidays.

Stay safe in the street

If you feel worried about running into trouble at home see if you can get friends to come to your home so that you can go out together. Take a different route to the shops and if it's dark stick to well lit streets. You could also get a personal safety alarm. These cost about £6 and you can get them in the home security section of DIY stores like Homebase, Focus and B&Q.

If people shout insults then don't reply, walk away and then make a note of it later. They will be doing this because they know it upsets you and also because they think it makes them look big in front of their friends.

It's very important that you tell your parents or whoever cares for you if you have been threatened or attacked in the street.

The age of criminal responsibility in England and Wales is 10 so if people who are bullying you are older than that your parents could make a complaint to the police. Hitting or kicking you is an assault and calling you names or making rude gestures to you over and over again could be harassment.
It's not easy for the police to know who is telling the truth so if you are bullied like this keep a diary of who says and does what and also who else was there and saw what was going on.

Bystanders have a vital role

Unfortunately young people who witness bullying like this are often afraid to tell the police what they saw in case they get bullied too so it can be helpful if you know the names of adults who have seen this happening to you.

There are now police community support officers and they often help in cases like this by talking to both sides and trying to sort it out before it gets further out of hand.

In serious cases the police will take statements and might recommend that charges are brought against the bully. If the bully admits what they have done the case might not go to court but the bully might get a caution instead which is an official warning.

There are other people who can help apart from the police.

Trouble with neighbours

If there is trouble between families who live in council or housing association homes then the council might arrange mediation to see if the problem can be sorted out.

In serious cases where young people are violent and abusive the police or council can apply for an anti-social behaviour order (ASBO) or their parents could be warned that if they keep misbehaving the family could be made to move out of their rented home.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

On the school bus, try to sit near the driver, or if it's an ordinary bus, by other adults. If you have to walk part of the way, and you're afraid of being ambushed, then vary your route, try to leave home and school a bit later or a bit earlier, or see if you can walk with other people who live near you, even if they're older or younger.

Many streets, shops and businesses now have CCTV so if you're attacked in the street the police may be able to get filmed evidence.

Schools often refuse to take action on bullying if it happens off the premises but they do have the power to punish bullies if the bullying happens on the way to and from school.

How your parents can help

If you're being bullied on the bus your parents or carer should write to the school to make a complaint and they could also make a complaint to the council department that deals with school transport and ask if the bully can have his/her bus pass withdrawn for a week or so in the hope that the inconvenience to them and their parents will mean they behave better.

Your mum and dad or carer could also make a complaint to the bus firm because if there is trouble on the bus which distracts the driver the firm might be pleased to have the chance to complain to the school about it.

If you feel unsafe while walking to school you could get a personal safety alarm. These only cost a few pounds and look like a key ring. The loud noise they make will attract the attention of passers-by and frighten the bully off.

Expensive goodies are tempting to muggers so don't flash your mobile or your MP3 player about, put them in an inside pocket.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

If you want help with a written project for school/college, you can use any information off the site for background information, but please don't copy it word for word and please credit Bullying UK as the place you got it.
Unfortunately, we cannot give permission for our copyright content to be used on any other websites or in any other electronic media or printed form.

Statistics

There are no official statistics for the number of pupils being bullied at any one time in the UK. The only type of bullying which has to be recorded in the UK is racist bullying.

Neither are there any statistics for the number of young people who kill themselves due to distress over bullying. These figures do not have to be officially recorded but it is believed that around 16-20 pupils in the UK commit suicide every year. Some deaths are recorded at inquests as an 'open verdict' meaning there isn't enough evidence for the coroner to decide exactly what happened.
Carry out a survey Bullying UK carried out The National Bullying Survey 2006 and you can find a copy of the comprehensive results in a pdf on our home page.

If you want to find out the extent of bullying in your school, a survey is a good place to start. Ask your school if you can get together with other pupils to come up with some questions about the things you feel are important at your own school. For instance, you might want to ask if particular areas of school are unsafe.

Questions you can ask

• Have you been bullied in the last year?
• Are you being bullied now?
• Are you being bullied by one person or several people?
  
• Was the bullying name-calling?
• Was the bullying excluding you from friendships?
• Was the bullying violent (hitting, kicking, punching, pushing)?
• Was the bully threatening to harm you?
• Was this bullying because of your colour, race or religion?
• Was the bullying about being gay?
• Are you being bullied out of school?
• Are you being bullied on the internet or by mobile phone?
• Are you being bullied on the way to school
  
• Was the bullying by pupils the same age or by those older or younger?
• Did you tell your parents/carer?
• Did you tell a friend?
• Did you tell a teacher?
• Did you hit back?
  
• Did you stay at home?
  
• Did the bullying stop?
• How many days have you taken off school due to bullying?
• Have you kept a diary about the problem?
  
• If it got better why do you think this was?
• If it got worse, why do you think this was?
• Where did bullying happen?
• Are some areas of school unsafe?
• Where in school is bullying most likely to happen?
• Have you seen anyone else being bullied?
• Have you ever bullied anyone?
• Why did you bully someone?
• Do you know if the school has an anti-bullying policy?
• Do you know what you are supposed to do at school if someone is bullying you?

If you want to publicise your project you could make a prominent display with pupils' pictures, poems and quotes. Perhaps you could put on a play.

If you do a survey and collate the results with the idea of updating your school bullying policy, then think about doing another survey after a year, to see how effective any changes to the policy have been.

Differences between girl and boy bullying

Bullying UK is often asked what are the most common forms of bullying in secondary schools.

Our experience has shown that boys and girls tend to bully in different ways. Teenage girls are more likely to use exclusion from friendships, rumour spreading, gossip and name calling while boys - although they do indulge in these things - are more likely to punch and kick their victims than girls and to use intimidation.

Girls are the main perpetrators of mobile phone abuse and also on the receiving end of most text message abuse and silent calls.

Girls who are good friends often tell each other their big secrets and when they fall out this sometimes means that the ex-friend posts really embarrassing things about the other girl on the internet. This can be very upsetting but anyone who does this can easily be traced by the police because nothing you do on the internet is secret, your digital fingerprints are all over it, even if you create a name using an account like hotmail or yahoo.

Posting nasty stuff on the internet about someone else, or altering photos of them to make them obscene, can be harassment which is against the law. It's also against the law to use the phone system, which includes the internet, to cause alarm or distress.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

If the bully has taken your friends away you could have a word with each of your friends individually, at a time when nobody else is around, and just sound them out. You could try to get them talking about something they did at the weekend and then just say that you used to be friends with them and you're not sure why that changed. Tell them that you'd really like their support.

You're probably not the only one being bullied who has to spend break and lunch hour on your own. Keep your eyes open. If you see someone else on their own try to start a conversation, about anything, schoolwork, if you think you know their sister, if you think they might live near you, anything at all.

How to make new friends

To have friends you also need to be a friend and you can do that by trying to be open and friendly with people and asking how they are.

This isn't always easy because sometimes the people you are nice to aren't nice back, but if you just ask someone if they had a nice weekend then it gives them the chance to say something back and then you can try to continue the conversation.

People love talking about themselves so in time you'll find people who like doing that because you'll come across as a good listener and then people will enjoy your company and you'll find you have the same interests as some of these people which is the first step towards real friendship.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

How to solve the problem

The best idea is if a teacher can catch the bullies red-handed. That way, you won't get into bother from anyone for telling tales. It will be clear to everyone what has been going on. Don't be tempted to hit back because you could get hurt or get into trouble.

Bullying includes:

• People calling you names
• Making things up to get you into trouble
• Hitting, pinching, biting, pushing and shoving
• Taking things away from you
• Damaging your belongings
• Stealing your money
• Taking your friends away from you
• Posting insulting messages on the internet or by IM (cyberbullying)
• Spreading rumours
• Threats and intimidation
• Making silent or abusive phone calls
• Sending you offensive phone texts
• Bullies can also frighten you so that you don't want to go to school, so that you pretend to be ill to avoid them

Hitting someone is an assault.

Try to stay in safe areas of the school at break and lunchtime where there are plenty of other people. Bullies don't like witnesses. If you are hurt at school, tell a teacher immediately and ask for it to be written down. Make sure you tell your parents.

Bullying is upsetting

Bullying is very upsetting and if you feel you can't cope, tell your parents and go to see your doctor. Many doctors are very sympathetic about the effects of bullying and yours may be able to write a note for the school explaining the effect that bullying is having on your health.

You could think about judo or martial arts classes so that you are confident you can look after yourself if necessary.

If people are making nasty remarks about you then it may be because they are jealous. Perhaps you're better looking than they are or work harder or perhaps the teachers like you better. One way of dealing with remarks is simply to say ...yeah, whatever, .... each time so that you show them that it isn't having the effect of upsetting you in the way they think.

The bullies will have worked out what buttons to push to make you upset.

They may make remarks about:

• Your weight
• Your looks
• The colour of your hair
• Your family
• Your schoolwork
• If you are popular
• If you work hard
• If you have a disability
• If you are a different religion, colour or culture
• If you wear spectacles or a hearing aid
• If you have dyslexia or dyspraxia
• If you've been off school due to illness

Bullying UK gets emails from pupils who have stopped eating because they've been called fat, or stupid because they have dyslexia. One girl tried to burn her freckles off because of cruel remarks.

The thing all these pupils had in common is that they were perfectly ordinary, nice people who had the misfortune to come up against a very nasty person.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

You might think that it would be a good idea to move to a new school if you're being bullied but the reality is that there is bullying in all schools, although some deal with it better than others.

All the best schools are already full and if you think that you will get preferential treatment to get into a good school because you're being bullied, or because you're staying at home due to bullying, then that isn't the case.

You may end up being allocated to a less popular school and less popular often means poorer exam results and discipline problems.

There are often long waiting lists for the best schools and although your parents can appeal to the local council for a place, there's no guarantee you would get one.

Other things to consider are:

• The new school may be further away and inconvenient and expensive to get to
• The cost of the new uniform
• It may be difficult to settle into a class where everyone already has friends
• The school may use a different exam board so the coursework could be different
• The bullies may have friends at the new school

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

Or timid and worried? And how did you look to other people? Were you striding out purposefully with your head up, looking forward, or were you trying to make yourself look insignificant in the hope that the bullies wouldn't spot you?

How to look more confident

Body language tells us a lot about other people. If you're trying not to be noticed and looking at the ground a lot while darting into school it can make you more noticeable. You look defensive and vulnerable.

If you step out boldly you send out a quite different message of confidence, as though you're the sort of person who might answer back if the bully tries a smart remark. You may not be very confident but you'll certainly look it.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

Not everyone can be on the team so don't be upset if you're not always chosen. That doesn't mean that you're being bullied, just that the coach needs to pick the strongest side.

But if team mates make fun of you on the pitch or in the changing room, or try to upset you to put you off the game so that you don't want to take part in training sessions, that could be bullying if it keeps happening.

Action you can take

• Tell your parents or carer
• Ask your parents to contact your team coach
• Keep a diary of what happens
• Ask friends on the team to back up what you say

If the problem isn't resolved, your parents should ask the coach or team manager for a copy of the complaints and/or bullying policy.  There is more information on this for your parents in the parents section and for teachers and sports club leaders in the schools section of Bullying UK.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

Sometimes, when you're very unhappy, you might want to stay at home to avoid the bullies because you're afraid of what they might do to you.

Staying off school can make things more difficult the problem is that if you start taking days off then you can quickly fall behind with work and that makes life more stressful as well as possibly affecting your exam results and your future.

Unfortunately, taking time off school without being genuinely ill is considered to be an unauthorised absence or truancy and your parents could end up being prosecuted for it.

Luckily, council education departments have people who can help in this situation called education welfare officers or education social workers and they can often make a big difference so that pupils can get back into school quickly and with the support they need.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

If people call you names then they might make nasty remarks saying that you are gay, whether you are or not. Rumours and gossip might be spread about you.

You might be picked on in this way because you're quiet, good looking or because you have good friends of the same sex.

What to do about gay bullyingIf you're being bullied in this way you need to tell your parents and report it to a teacher. Keep a diary of the remarks. If this sort of bullying spills over into violence then it should be reported to the police as a hate crime. Many police forces have specialist units to deal with these incidents.

The people who make these remarks are trying to make you lose your temper

so it's best not to respond to the taunts or if you feel you need to, just say, "Whatever".

In many cases the people who are picking on you are projecting their prejudice on to others. They may also hear gay jibes being used at home or by older people who hold outdated attitudes.

What should schools do about gay bullying?

Schools should deal with homophobia as it's called by including it in their bullying policies. In 2003 a survey of 300 schools found that 82 per cent of teachers were aware of gay name calling in their schools and 26 per cent knew of physical incidents.

Some schools are also dealing with the problem by raising it in citizenship lessons, looking at how to tackle prejudice and discrimination.

There are a number of organisations which help pupils with these issues including our friends at Stonewall, Schools Out and the Intercom Trust.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

Nobody has the right to call you names or to treat you badly because of your colour, race or religion. It's illegal and it can be stopped. You don't have to be a different colour to suffer racist bullying. You might have come from Romania or the former Yugoslavia.

Neither is racist bullying confined to colour of skin. We've had complaints of non-Welsh and non-Scots children experiencing bullying in those countries. Other complaints have been about traveller children finding life difficult in school.

Racist bullying is the only type of bullying that schools must record.

There is a difference between racial discrimination and racism Racial discrimination means being treated differently to someone else because of your race, perhaps by being told you cannot wear a turban if you are a Sikh, a yarmulka if you are a Jewish boy or hijaab if you are a Pakistani girl.

Racism means you are subjected to abuse and harassment because of your race, colour or beliefs.Bullying UK receives many complaints about racist bullying. If you are being bullied in this way you must tell your parents and ask them to write to your head teacher about it. Keep a diary of who says and does what because that will help the school to see where the bullying is taking place.

The complaints we've had include a girl aged six being told by a classmate that she cannot take the school mouse home because he doesn't like people with brown faces, to more serious incidents involving teenage gangs and weapons, one of which meant a boy was too frightened to return to school.

These complaints have come from all parts of the UK and are not confined to any particular area. Your parents need to make a complaint to the police if the school doesn't sort out racial bullying.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

Every year at Bullying UK we support more than 500,000 people, 300,000 of those are young people desperate for advice to help them cope with bullying and get it stopped. We can only be here for them with your help.

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Bullying makes people so upset that they often need to see a doctor. They might even try to kill themselves, or they self harm or perhaps suffer an eating disorder, particularly if they are called names about their weight or appearance.

There are usually quite a lot of pointers that someone is being bullied and if you see or hear any of them you're in a good position to help.

How to tell if someone is being bullied

• Is anyone in your class taking a lot of time off, getting to school late, trying to avoid being in situations like the toilets or changing rooms?
• Do you hear someone calling them names, not loudly, but so that they will overhear?
• Are rumours being spread about them?
• Are they being left out of things when partners are chosen in class?
• Are they spending break and lunchtime on their own?
• Are people fixing up nice things to do out of school and leaving them out?
• Are they getting nasty phone texts and abuse on the internet or by instant messaging?

If so then you already know someone who is being bullied.

You might be afraid that if you do something about it, the bully might pick on you next but there are lots of things you can do to help.

What you should do to help

• Tell a teacher
• Go with the person being bullied and back up what they say to the teacher
• Tell the person being bullied that you'll help them to tell their parents
• Tell your parents what's happening and ask them to have a quiet word with your head of year
• Agree with your friends that you will all make it clear to the person doing the bullying that you don't like what they're doing
• Keep a diary of what you see going on so that you can give a teacher a reliable account of what has been happening

If you tell a teacher what has happened then the bully shouldn't find out that you've done that. The teacher should be able to quietly alert other teachers and keep an eye on the situation so that the bully is caught red handed and has only themselves to blame.

If you see someone being bullied they're probably very upset so make sure they know that you and your friends don't like what is going on and ask them to join your group.

Bullying can make people feel really upset and depressed

Here is what some pupils told us in just one week:
"She has taken all my friends away and I go home at night and I'm depressed and cry" - girl aged 13

"One time I wouldn't eat because of people calling me 'fat'" - boy aged 14

"Mondays were worst because I had to face the bully again and I soon got so worried it made me ill" - teenage girl

"I feel lonely and I want some advice about how to feel better about myself, going to school" - girl aged 15

"I feel like killing myself, it's that bad. I will probably end up in hospital, I have no friends and if I don't get help now I will end up a mess." - girl aged 14

"Other kids trip me up and call me names. It got so bad once that I ran away from school" - boy aged 12

"They stir things up so people don't want to be my friend. I'm depressed, annoyed, stressed and keep breaking down in tears. I feel like I'm about to fall apart" - boy aged 13

"I pray to make the bullies better people but it really upsets me because none of my friends stick up for me. They just sit there and laugh - teenage girl

You're a bully if you do any of these things to someone else:

• You call them names
• You make up stories to get them into trouble
• You tell other people not to be friends with them
• You make remarks about their culture, religion or colour
• You make remarks about their disability or medical condition
• You leave them out when you're choosing a games team
• You take away their possessions or demand money from them
• You hide their books or bag
• You send them nasty text messages or make silent calls to their phone
• You make threats about nasty things that will happen to them
• You make remarks about them liking other boys or other girls. This is called homophobic bullying
• You spread rumours about them
• You take their friends away leaving them on their own
• You hit them, kick them, trip them up or push them around
• You make remarks about their looks or weight
• You don't choose them to be your partner in class
• You tell them you're busy and then go off to enjoy yourself with other people
• You damage their property
• You make jokes about them when you can see they're upset
• You indulge in horseplay when you know they are not enjoying it
• You're going along with the crowd who are doing any of these thing

Risks you run if you bully someone else.

You run quite a few risks if you bully someone else. You could get a warning, detention, temporary or permanent exclusion (expulsion). A violent, one-off incident harming another pupil could be grounds for expulsion.

If an incident involves violence, text phone, internet abuse or demands for money then the victim and their parents should, and probably will, make a complaint to the police.

If you are over the age of criminal responsibility, which is 10 in England and Wales, you could be charged with assault or harassment. Even if the case doesn't go to court but results in a caution that could still have a serious effect on your future.
If you bully someone out of school the council or police could apply for an anti-social behaviour order (ASBO).

Bullies think that if they use false names on the internet they can get away with it but they can't. See our internet section for information about that.

Some young people have been so upset they've killed themselvesThere have been many cases where teenagers have killed themselves due to bullying and no doubt the bullies never thought this would be the consequence.

Bullying UK gets hundreds of emails a month and a surprising proportion are from secondary school pupils who say they are suicidal now or have been in the past. Some have been cutting themselves due to their distress. Others are receiving psychiatric and psychological help. Many of them are too frightened to go to school and some have been removed from school by their parents.

We also get emails from pupils suffering from eating disorders because they have been called fat when they are perfectly normal, and others from pupils with Aspergers syndrome who are teased because their condition makes it difficult to relate to other people.

Bullies also target those who are more clever, more popular and better looking than they are as well as those who stand out in any way perhaps because they wear spectacles, have red hair, dyslexia, diabetes or are just quiet and pleasant.

If you're bullying someone else do you really want to be responsible for another person having a mental breakdown and suffering unhappiness that can last a lifetime.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

Click the image below and click the "Expansion arrow" to read Ben's Story full screen or click here to view a PDF

Don't let them, they have the problem, not you, tell someone and put a stop to it. You are letting them do what they want if you stay silent so don't. Put on a brave face and if at all possible walk away from these situations and if not look for a nearby adult and attract their attention.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

Show the bullies that there is a good side to you. I changed through my experiences. While I was being bullied, I became shy and afraid, I even missed school.

But then I realised that I wasn't the bad person in this, they were. I went through counselling and eventually built up my hopes, focusing on what my strengths and weaknesses were and what I needed to change. This helped me tremendously and I changed.

In some ways the bullying helped me, it made me see that I had strengths that I didn't even know about, all you need to do is find those strengths inside yourself. The ex-bullies and I are now really good friends and everything has worked out. Don't resort to violence, whatever you do. Don't retaliate. Let the bullies know that you will not drop to their level.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

Luckily I had made good notes throughout this time and I came through getting the highest results in the year.

I moved to another sixth form and I have not experienced anything like it since. Don't let anyone tell you that once you have been a victim to bullies you will always be. You won't.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

Nowadays I have realised that I am a good person, with a lot of good to do in the world - just remember that to create and bring happiness to others brings happiness to yourself. It's easy to want to curl up and die.

It may be difficult, but be friendly and open and honest with other people than the bullies. The more friends you develop, the more the bullies will leave you alone because people will stick up for you.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

Bullying thrives on silence and secrecy. It's difficult but do try to make yourself look brave if something happens, even though you're quaking in your boots. Another thing to bear in mind is that bullying is surprisingly impersonal! A lot of bullies have traumatic personal lives and pick on victims because they want to make themselves feel "big" and often randomly select someone often for the most trivial of reasons. Lastly, it isn't your fault. Stay safe and good luck

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

Follow the advice on this website, it really works, look about and you'll find its a lot more easy to make friends than you think, when I was in year 9 and 10 I had no friends and no social life and I even contemplated suicide but by the end of year 11 I had more than 14 good friends and bullying was little of a problem to me.

It still goes on but if you make an effort to make some friends you will find your confidence will grow so much the bullying won't matter.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here

If you're ever tempted to take a weapon into school, to settle a score, or to carry one on the street for protection, then DON'T.

Carrying an offensive weapon is a crime and if you are caught with it, even if you have it in your pocket, you are likely to end up in youth court and expelled from school. An offensive weapon isn't just a knife, it could also be something you use in maths at school, like a compass. Using a weapon on someone else is an assault.

But worse, fighting someone using a knife, perhaps to frighten them, can go tragically wrong. People DIE in fights where knives are used.

If you take someone on in this way, perhaps for revenge, because they've upset you, you run the risk of hurting them and getting hurt yourself. If you're feeling angry because someone has treated you badly we can give you lots of practical advice to sort the problem out - safely, so nobody gets hurt.

For more on the real danger of knives:

Murdered schoolboy Luke 'wanted to enjoy life

Internet feud behind school stabbing

Pupil Natashia stabbed in face

Boy knifed in school grounds

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here