It's very upsetting to get abusive emails, instant messages and to have nasty websites set up to invite people to post offensive remarks about you.

Internet service providers have contact email addresses for complaints about email and this will normally be abuse@hotmail.com , abuse@btinternet.com or whichever system the sender is using. Don't reply to the email or delete it, get your parents to forward the whole thing to the sender's ISP.

What to do if someone sets up a nasty web page about youIf you are a pupil named on an abusive message board or website then let us know and we will contact the website host to try to get it closed down. We have had success doing this in the past.

We recently closed down a series of message boards in the Hertfordshire/north London area where pupils were being identified by name, school and year and others were invited to post abuse about them. These boards have been reported to Hertfordshire Police following complaints to us by parents and pupils.

Among problems we identified were:

• A death threat
• Numerous bogus messages posted in the names of people being targeted
• A boy who lost all his friends as a result of postings made in his name
• Numerous threats of violence
• A girl who tried to kill herself due to abuse
• A teenager on anti-depressants and afraid to go out due to threats

Sending abuse by email or posting it into a web board can be harassment and if this has happened to you then your parents or carers need to make a complaint to the police.

All message boards run by private individuals are hosted by firms and you can often find an address to complain to in the 'help' section of the board. In our experience firms usually act swiftly to shut down the board because allowing abuse to be posted is against their terms and conditions.

Abuse isn't secret

Even if the people posting this abuse do so using a false name, they can still be traced because the firm which hosts the website will keep logs which detail where uploads have been made from. You and your parents can't access this information but the police can.

If you're getting rude comments by instant messenger print them out and give them to your parents. They could contact the police if the messages are threatening or if there are so many of them that they could be considered to be harassment. Change your IM details and only give them to genuine friends.

If you need help from Bullying UK email us here