I can't face school because of the bullies

Dear Liz,
I'm 14 and I can't face school any more. I want to move to a new one because it can't be any worse than this. I'm always on my own at break and I've got nobody to go around with. I've fallen out with my friends and they're going around with someone who used to bully me.
Amarjit

Hello Amarjit
I can understand why you're so unhappy but there may be ways this can be sorted out.

Moving to a new school isn't all that easy because the best ones are usually full and you may not get a place. You might end up at a less popular school which is further away from where you live and it can be hard to settle in when everyone else already has friends. It's also possible the bullies will have friends at the new school too.

These people who used to be your friends probably still like you in the same way, but they could be worried that if they show they still like you that they'll get bullied in the same way.

One thing you could do is have a word with each of them individually, at a time when nobody else is around, and just sound them out. You could try to get them into conversation about something like what they did at the weekend and then just say that you used to be friends with them and you're not sure why that changed.

To have friends you also need to be a friend and you can do that by trying to be open and friendly with people and asking how they are. This isn't always easy because sometimes the people you are nice to aren't nice back, but if you just ask someone if they had a nice weekend then it gives them the chance to say something back and then you can try to continue the conversation.

People love talking about themselves so in time you will find people who like doing that because you'll come across as a good listener and then people will enjoy your company and you'll find you have the same interests as some of them which is the first step towards genuine friendship.
Liz

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