Is my child being bullied?

Finding out that your child is being bullied is a stressful and distressing experience. It's natural for a parent to feel anger, confusion and guilt.

Some children are good at hiding their feelings and the first you may know of the problem is when your child suddenly doesn't want to go to school, or says they are ill when PE lessons are on the agenda.

Pointers to a bullying problem

Coming home with cuts and bruises Torn clothes Asking for stolen possessions to be replaced 'Losing' dinner money Falling out with previously good friends Being moody and bad tempered

Wanting to avoid leaving the house Aggression with brothers and sisters Doing less well at schoolwork Insomnia Anxiety Being quiet and withdrawn

The worst thing to do is to over-react and storm into school demanding action. Bullying Online is regularly contacted by parents who have lost their temper and ended up banned from the premises or in trouble with the police.

Don't forget that if you didn't know your child was being bullied then the school may not have realised it either. The class teacher/head of year isn't your child's constant companion and isn't a mind reader.

If you think your child is being bullied, but you're not sure, then ask a few simple questions.

For a younger child:

What did they do at school today? Did they do anything they liked? Did they do anything they didn't like? Who did they play with? Are they looking forward to going to school tomorrow?

What sort of games did they play? Did they enjoy them? Would they have liked to play different games with someone else? How are their friends?

For an older child:

What did they do at lunchtime today? Is there anyone they'd like to invite home? Is there any lesson at school they don't like and why?

Is there anyone at school they don't like and why? Are they looking forward to going to school tomorrow?

Contact us on help@bullying.co.uk if you need more help.

Other pages in this sectionBullying policies / Role of the DCSF / Is my child being bullied? / School bus bullies
Mobile phone problems / Practical help with racism / Dealing with racism / Internet scams
How does bullying make a child feel? / Dealing with a younger bully / Adults' survey results / Teachers' survey results
Contacting the school / Access to pupil records / Happy slapping / Internet abuse
Contacting the Governors and LEAa / Internet safety advice for parents / Is my child a bully? / Who can help on racism
Parents' problem page / If your child is bullying others / Do you share blame? / Dealing with an older bully
Teacher bullying / Home schooling / Bullying in sport / Parents' panel - Have your say
Parents' survey results / Moving your child to a new school / Pupils' survey results / Taking legal action
Bullying outside school / Independent and private schools / Model letters to help your complaint / National Bullying Survey 2006
Cyber bullying introduction / Dangerous websites