Tips from pupils

Over the years lots of pupils have sent Bullying UK tips about what worked for them. Here are some of their ideas.

From SeanI just finished school and I have to say I had a horrible time due to bullying and it wasn't helped when the teachers wouldn't do anything about it.

Follow the advice on this website, it really works, look about and you'll find its a lot more easy to make friends than you think, when I was in year 9 and 10 I had no friends and no social life and I even contemplated suicide but by the end of year 11 I had more than 14 good friends and bullying was little of a problem to me.

It still goes on but if you make an effort to make some friends you will find your confidence will grow so much the bullying won't matter.

From ClaireWhatever you do - TELL SOMEONE!  Make people listen to you and don't take no for an answer.  Make a logbook of bullying incidents to use as evidence if need be.

You have the right to live without fear.  Don't think that you're being a "grass" - why should you do a bully a favour by keeping quiet?  Bullying thrives on silence and secrecy.  It's difficult but do try  to make yourself look brave if something happens, even though you're quaking in your boots. 

Another thing to bear in mind is that bullying is surprisingly impersonal!  A lot of bullies have traumatic personal lives and  pick on victims because they want to make themselves feel "big" and often randomly select someone often for the most trivial of reasons. Lastly, it isn't your fault.  Stay safe and good luck

From AnonIt is never, ever your fault. Step back and assess the whole situation and try to find out why it is going on. Find someone you can really trust and tell them everything.

Don't hold any details back. Remember this is your life and you don't have to suffer for anyone. Life is too short. If you don't stand up for yourself you will regret it later in life and it will affect you. It will stop. Have faith and courage in yourself and it will get you through.

From StewartTry to find out who else is being bullied, strength in numbers does work; If you can't tell your parents, tell your grandparents as it is usually much easier;

At school breaks try to be somewhere safe such as in detention or the library; If bullies pick up on something like the way you walk, try to laugh at yourself and carry on acting as you were before because most bullies I have known take the piss because you don't like it. If you agree with them, they lose their point.

From PaulTell someone - not a friend or colleague around the same  age, but a parent or teacher that does not dote on the bullies (a common  experience in school).

Nowadays I have realised that I am a good person, with a lot of good to do in the world - just remember that to create and bring happiness to others brings happiness to yourself.  It's easy to want to curl up and die.

It may be difficult, but be friendly and open and honest with other people than the bullies.  The more friends you develop, the more the bullies will leave you alone because people will stick up for you.

From SamI feel that although the school didn't listen to me or help me I want to show others that you can come through the other side of bullying.  I reached my GCSE's and felt terrified that I would fail as I had completely blanked out two years of my life, I couldn't remember a thing I'd been taught.

Luckily I had made good notes throughout this time and I came through getting the highest results in the year.  I moved to another sixth form and I have not experienced anything like it since.  Don't let anyone tell you that once you have been a victim to bullies you will always be. You won't.

From AliceIf you are being bullied, just tell someone. I was bullied for a year and a half and eventually wrote a letter to the head of my school. Be strong, and feel confident.

Show the bullies that there is a good side to you. I changed through my experiences. While I was being bullied, I became shy and afraid, I even missed school.

But then I realised that I wasn't the bad person in this, they were. I went through counselling and eventually built up my hopes, focusing on what my strengths and weaknesses were and what I needed to change. This helped me tremendously and I changed.

In some ways the bullying helped me, it made me see that I had strengths that I didn't even know about, all you need to do is find those strengths inside yourself.  The ex-bullies and I are now really good friends and everything has worked out. Don't resort to violence, whatever you do. Don't retaliate. Let the bullies know that you will not drop to their level.

From Shazzy and RaeIf you are being bullied tell a grown-up or a teacher or a friend that you can trust, tell someone that won't go and tell everyone. Don't be afraid to tell someone.

Don't push back if they hit or push you, just walk away 'cause if you hit them back it will only make things worse. Remember be brave.

From GavinIf you are getting bullied tell a teacher, parent or an adult and don't suffer. If you want to make them stop you just stand up to them and you will find they are nothing but cowards looking for attention or trying to be popular which they are really not.

From LucieThe most important thing is to tell someone. It may not be that  easy, I know I have been there ! But from my experience I have learned that you can't just sit around and wait for it to stop. You have to do something.

From PaulIf you have an older brother or sister  talk to them first, as they are more likely to be closer to your level on matters.  Your parents are also more likely to listen and accept their word on the subject. 

If you have no older siblings try to make friends with some older people.

From ClaireAnyone out there being bullied don't suffer in silence. I've been there and done it and trust me it's not worth it. These horrible sad individuals can ruin your life and even push you to suicide.

Don't let them, they have the problem, not you, tell someone and put a stop to it. You are letting them do what they want if you stay silent so don't. Put on a brave face and if at all possible walk away from these situations and if not look for a nearby adult and attract their attention.

From JaneMy tip is :
1) Make other good friends 
2) Start trying to make friends with the bullies, you are a good person
3) If number two doesn't work tell someone from your mum to your head teacher

Contact us on help@bullying.co.uk if you need more help.

Other pages in this sectionSchool projects / Mobile phone bullying - Industry Advice / Bullies have taken my friends away / Tips from pupils
Bullying - Have your say! / Dangerous websites / Adults' survey results / How to help someone being bullied
Safety tips for Bebo, Facebook, MySpace and YouTube / Introduction to bullying / Cyberbullying - What is Cyberbullying / Happy slapping
Internet abuse / Bullying outside school / Problems young people suffer / Are you a bully?
Parents' survey results / Pupils' survey results / Moving school / Body language
Internet scams / Cyber safety tips / Teachers' survey results / Problems with YouTube?
Problems with MySpace? / Problems with Facebook? / Bullying in sport / Taking time off school?
School bus bullies / Mobile phone problems / Gay bullying / Problems with Bebo?
Weapons can KILL / Racist bullying / National Bullying Survey 2006